Nanaimo News Bulletin - BACK from the BRINK

Nanaimo News Bulletin - BACK from the BRINK

Nourish Your Daughter's Self-Esteem and Body Image

Nourish Your Daughter's Self-Esteem and Body Image

Imagine what we could do with all the energy we put into hyper focusing on our weight and body image. As a teen and young woman I was trapped in a dieting cycle that had devastating effects on my self-esteem. No matter how much I weighed OR how athletic I was - I still thought I was too fat, not athletic enough, and not good enough. I struggled with disordered eating, self-hatred and low self-image. I honestly spent years putting a lot of energy into hating myself. Looking back, I see how many more great things I could have been doing but didn’t. If you are a teen girl reading this – and you relate to my story – you need to keep reading. If you are a parent and this story resonates with you right now – or in your past – keep reading for the sake of your daughter.

Now I accept my body as a sounding board for what I need to be doing to honour myself! I exercise for the fun of it NOT because I am burning X amount of calories or attaining a certain number on the scale or a certain ration of lean muscle mass to fat! Believe me – I spent thousands of dollars accomplishing all of it but it always came back to haunt me in the end. WHY? Because dieting is based on deprivation and for me, when I deprive myself of something I am bound to resent it and retaliate! Hence, the weight came back, the negative attitude returned stronger than ever, and I would start backing away from doing the things I loved because I felt I was not good enough, fit enough, or skinny enough! What crap! What I now realize is that I do take up more space in this world than some and less than space than others and I don’t need a ‘picture’ perfect body to be happy. I need to be fueling my energy into things I love - not obsessing about calories in and calories out rather happiness in and happiness out!

Parents our daughters are bombarded with messages around what is and is not acceptable as a female – how to look, dress, talk. Adults can filter some of this bombardment but teen girls take this seriously and at times, literally. In deadly combination – our society bombards us with images and advertising for fast and processed foods. These media messages and marketing campaigns conflict with one another – you can’t eat fast and processed foods and look like the models that advertise those products. Have you seen the commercial for Carl Jr. Burger done by Paris Hilton. Here is the picture for the ad. Now what are we striving for – insanity!

TIPS to Nourish Your Daughter's Self-Esteem and Body Image

Tip 1 – Be a strong, healthy role model: This is vital in teaching your daughter how to feel about food, eating, and her body. Does the way you feel about food and your body conflict with how you want your daughter to feel about her body and food? Are you critical of your body and eating habits. Are you skipping breakfast, not exercising or an exercise nut! I say you need to ‘be the change you want to see’. As parents if you want good things for your children you better be modeling it in your own life. If your not, that's okay because it creates a great bonding and growing experience for you and your daughter. If you want her to feel good about herself – you need to feel good about yourself too! Your daughter will appreciate your honesty and it will actually deepen your relationship because she will view you as real and authentic. Teens ask for authenticity in adults all the time when they are in my counselling office. Trust me on this one.

Tip 2 - Create a NO judgment NO criticism zone: With your daughter co-create a home that is a safe haven for minimal to no negative messaging. It could be that you agree to no fashion magazines in the house, to limit certain music videos or television shows; that dieting becomes off limits. Talk to your daughter about how the media images and messages impact her as a young girl and ask her what she needs in her home to create a space where she can safely and confidently express who she is without negative bombardment.

Tip 3 – Move away from the diet mentality for good! Dieting = deprivation = rebelling = disordered eating due to resentment of being deprived = destructive thinking and behaviours. Look at Oprah – she is still pumping the newest diets but she still cycles through weight loss and gain. Diets fail! A healthy, happy and balanced lifestyle doesn’t. What we eat and how we feel is correlated with what we fuel our bodies with. So fuel them with healthy foods and it will result in feeling good. Do things to keep active that you enjoy not because you have to but because you want to. If it is just walking – then walk. If it is swimming and hiking – then swim and hike.

Tip 4: Teach your daughter's to be comfortable with the space they take up in the world: based on their needs, their ideas, their inner drive and beauty not their body shape and size. Honour your body and be proud of yourself for who you are! Help your daughter connect with strong female role models that are comfortable with who they are regardless of what societies demands of us to look a certain way and be a certain weight - we have the power to challenge those messages and achieve greatness in all areas of life regardless of size, shape, and weight.

Enjoy the journey ~ CHIC power!

Angela Slade is co-facilitating a FREE disordered eating workshop series

One Girl at a Time- Jamie Anne

Tri Delta - Fat Talk Free Week